six ways to take care of yourself

Blue Monday is a term you may have heard floating around the internet these last few days. Apparently, Blue Monday falls on the third Monday of January (which is January 17, 2022) and it bases its whole existence on the fact that people *may* or *should* be feeling extra Blue on this date. The realization of our holiday debt, our failed New Year’s Resolutions, and prolonged cold temperatures (for you who are currently in winter) are said to trigger us all into a real state of depression - resulting in the idea of a worldwide day of spiraling mental health. 

I’ve spent some quality time researching where Blue Monday originated, and what I’ve found is that it, in fact, is not based on any sort of psychological facts whatsoever. It seems like Blue Monday was indeed just another PR stunt (a way to entice us to feel bad about our past decisions and encourage us to make some happier decisions). Not to point fingers or anything, but I would think that something like Blue Monday would at least be backed by psychological research - but it’s not. 

While there are no numbers to show that Blue Monday is a real thing, there are numbers to show that Blue Monday has opened up the floor for more and more people to collectively talk about mental health struggles. In the time that Blue Monday has been a ‘thing’ we as humans have shed light on mental health issues and there has been a growing number of people talking about depression and seeking help when they need it. 

So, whether Blue Monday is based on fact, or simply just another idea that we’ve all adopted - for the sake of this chat, it maybe doesn't matter all too much.

What I think is important is that we acknowledge the fact that every single day of the year has equal potential to be depressing, lonely, and stressful for anyone/everyone - regardless of how long it’s been since Christmas, New Year's Eve, or to be honest - the weather. Depression, and all other struggles that we as humans experience, is a real-life thing, and guess what? Real-life is something that happens every day. Real-life happens when things are supposed to be great, and real-life happens when things are said to be gloomy. 

If you’re struggling from depression, please know that you are NOT alone, and here in the DUNNEBELLS community - you are welcome. We accept you as you are and we promise to love you exactly as you are, however you choose to show up. 

If you’re struggling from depression and have yet to seek professional help, please also know that it's my belief that seeking professional help for your mental health does not make you weak - it in fact makes you one of the strongest people in the world. Talking about what’s going on on the inside is one of the hardest things to do and the idea of letting someone see the darkest and most secretive things about you is terribly daunting. However, choosing to seek professional help is one of the bravest things I think anyone can do. Mental health struggles are something that everyone can experience at any given time. Not having a professional diagnosis of depression does not mean that what you’re feeling isn’t real or valid. From what I know, many of us have felt some level of depression in our past. What depression looks like for me, might be different for you, and it can be totally different from the man or woman living down the street from you. We are all very different, and the things we experience are often just as different. 

However, we are also all quite similar as well, especially in the fact that we all deserve the support that we need. So, whether you believe in Blue Monday or not, I don't think that's the whole point. The point in this conversation is to realize that each and every single one of us could be suffering at this very moment. Right now. Reading this, at least three of you are probably really struggling with your mental health (and likely no one even knows).

What can you do, right now, to check in with yourself and with the people you love? 

What can you do to bring relief to the gloom, introduce a tiny feeling of hope, or spread a bit of love to those who need it most?

let’s dive into this weeks’ Tips

After all, it IS Tuesday…

1. Eat a Well-Balanced Meal, Move Your Body & Get Some Sleep 

It should be no surprise to hear that a well-balanced meal can improve your mental health. I can admit that when I’m feeling down in the gutter the last thing I want is a healthy well-rounded meal (never mind the idea of cooking something that’s good for me) however I know from experience that choosing fast food, chips, and cake instead - never works. It makes me feel good IN the moment, but none of that goodness is long-term, and I often feel even more crap afterward. If you can - choose foods that are good for you and if you don’t have the mental capacity to cook, try snacking on things that are full of vitamins and minerals. 

The worst thing you could do is STOP eating, although that sometimes feels like the easiest thing or your only option. Something is ALWAYS better than nothing, and if that something is relatively good for you, you are winning!

If you really can’t fathom preparing yourself food, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask someone to help you. Friends and family are great resources when it comes to taking care of yourself. I can bet that if things got to this point for you, someone in your life would be willing to drop you off some dinner, and would essentially be so grateful that you had the courage to ask in the first place. 

When you exercise regularly, your body releases negative energy and gets rid of the anxiety that results in you feeling a rush of relaxation, calmness, and peacefulness.  Sometimes it feels like you could never exercise while depressed, but the release of endorphins you’ll experience WILL make you feel happier. You might not feel happy when you’re working out or even when you finally finish - but in the time that passes after you’ve showered and regrouped, you will inevitably feel better and your body will thank you. You’ll experience an increase of happy chemicals in your brain (dopamine and serotonin) as a result of exercise and that can really promote your well-being - sometimes you just can not argue with science! 

If crushing a thirty-minute workout is NOT in the cards for you, don’t worry. Lay down on the floor and do a bit of bodyweight work for fifteen minutes instead. Or, go for a walk with some calming sounds playing in your earbuds. If that all feels like too much, simply walking up and down your stairs for twenty minutes like a zombie while frowning and screaming at yourself for feeling stupid will also work and will add value to your day. Sometimes, even on great days, we make things more complicated than they need to be. I encourage you to try not to make your hard days harder on yourself than they already are. 

Sleep is very important to your physical and mental well-being. When you are experiencing quality sleep, your body finally shuts down and gets the much-needed rest it deserves to be able to start again the next morning. 

If you’re feeling gloomy, try cutting out ALL screens before bed (at least an hour, but ideally two) and put yourself to bed at a decent time. Even if you don't fall asleep suddenly, that time you’re laying in bed without screens and distractions will be great for your body and your well-being. 

On the contrary, a lack of quality sleep can result in an exhausted brain and body - which makes you very edgy, cranky, and easily agitated. Quality sleep can help you feel relaxed, calm, and have a positive outlook on life instead of the frustrations and negativity that are associated with lack of sleep.

If sleep isn’t lacking for you, and you’re finding that you’re sleeping too much (which is a thing, you CAN overdo it), make sure that you pick yourself up out of bed (or off the couch) every so often and get your body moving…it will thank you. 

2. Talk to Someone & Check-In on Your Friends

Whether you are talking to a professional or to the person that you feel comfortable talking to in the darkest of days - talking is important. Many of us grew up under the impression that internal stuff shouldn’t be discussed – it should be swept under the rug. This is perhaps the single worst thing you can do for yourself - especially if you’re already feeling crap. Talking through the issue with someone wise and trustworthy who will hear you and be empathetic to your situation can help and through conversation, you may find that you gain some perspective and can consider possible solutions to the stress/darkness you are experiencing. 

The biggest thing for me when talking about what's going on inside is the release of built-up tension that I feel. Often just saying (or typing) what I'm feeling brings validity to those things, and that alone makes me feel better. Knowing that someone else has heard, and now knows my deepest fears/feelings, makes them way less dark and daunting. The idea of holding everything in so that I feel the sole responsibility for it all is enough to make me want to burst. Your friends, or ONE friend who you trust, are great resources for you to get things off your chest so that you don't feel weighed down by your inner self.

Please remember that this idea of talking to someone you trust also goes both ways. Often it's hard to reach out and say you’re struggling, we all know that. However, if someone reaches out to you and asks how you’re doing it’s often a bit easier to release whatever is going on inside of you. So, if you’re not the person in need right now, that's great. However, I do encourage you to consistently reach out to your people and see if they’re doing okay. Holding space for others, especially during tough times, will be instrumental in their recovery. You never know who needs you, or when they need you - so ask. Check-in on your friends and your family and they will likely check in on you too.

And of course, if you’re in need of professional help - seek it. There are many people out there who are qualified to help you. Therapy can help in so many ways, and often you come away with a better understanding of why you are the way you are, how to deal with what's going on, and ways to face whatever may be coming in the future. It's ALWAYS okay to ask for help.

3. Hit Your RESET Button (Once you know what your reset button is)

What do you enjoy? Do you know what resets you? Is it reading? Painting? Gardening? Dancing? The possibilities are endless but it’s very important for your emotional wellbeing that you spend a bit of time dedicated to doing something you genuinely enjoy. If you have NO idea what you enjoy, spend some time figuring that out. 

Once you know what you enjoy, you can consider your RESET button!

For me, I know that no matter what I'm feeling - if I need to RESET myself I can either:

a) turn all the lights off and have a bath and a good cry,
b) head to the outdoor pool and go for a swim or, 
c) go outside and lay on the ground by myself. 

These are tried and tested things that I have found to work for me. If I’m dealing with anxiety, depression, overstimulation, or any sort of mental health struggle that I'm faced with - these three things are GREAT for me. They bring me back to a level-headed space, and in the long run, they bring me joy. Finishing one of these three activities brings me to a state of OKAY and I feel more capable to move forward than had i not used my RESET button.

Whether it’s just 5 minutes a day or a bit longer, having a bit of fun can help alleviate stress and focus your mind on something that brings you genuine joy. There are also activities that can bring you happiness that you might not expect or normally associate with “being fun”, such as donating old clothes to charity or doing some volunteer work. Whatever works for YOU, that’s what you should do. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that what works for others will work for you. If you hate yoga - don’t do yoga. Can’t bear the thought of meditation? Don’t even try. If you hate reading, don’t read. If the last thing you can imagine doing is going for a walk while listening to a funny podcast - don’t do that. Find what RESETS you, and use that to your advantage. 

4. Go Outside ! Sunshine and fresh are are essential to your well being

Getting exposure to sunlight will elevate your serotonin levels which will help boost your mood, therefore increasing feelings of calmness and focus. The sun is a powerful powerful thing, and when you’re feeling down - it’s always there to help you. Even if it's not a hot summer day, the sun is ALWAYS (well, almost always) outside waiting for you to come outside and say “hello”. 

Get outside, go for a walk, lay in the grass (or snow), and simply allow it to penetrate your skin for any given amount of time. While you’re outside, try taking some deep breaths and having some much-needed moments of quiet. Look around. What do you see? Pause. What do you hear? What do you smell?

Slow down, and embrace everything that is the great outdoors. 

5. De-Rail Your Routine every once in a while

Although our routines make us more efficient and can enhance our feelings of security and safety, a little change of pace can perk up a tedious schedule. I know, it sounds bizarre, but it's true. Our bodies love a bit of change!

If you’ve been doing the same exercises for six months, your body will get used to it and essentially those exercises with the same weight as always will become less effective. 

If you eat the same meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - every day, eventually your body gets used to that and will stop performing its best. 

The same goes for your mental health. The more ROUTINE you have (while it can be beneficial in many ways) the less you will offer your body something different. In times of depression and the feeling of it never ending - what we need is something different. We need new stimulations. 

If you’re going for a walk - go a different way. If you’re going for groceries, try a different store for even a few ingredients. If you love going for Saturday morning coffee, try a different cafe. 

My therapist, who I see regularly for my ADHD, has me listening to music I’ve never heard when I'm feeling low. When I have depression symptoms something I always want to do is play my favorite playlist. Turns out, she wants me to do exactly the opposite. She wants me to find music I’ve never heard before and send my brain into a state of ‘wow, this is new’ (shock) so that it has to adapt and process things differently. She wants my brain to fire new neuron paths (I think that’s what she said anyway, but I'm not a professional so this is simply what I think she meant). It's calming, new, and honestly effective. The idea that my brain has never heard the music - allows my brain to then take in the information differently, which in the end, allows me to feel something I’m not currently feeling - which is the goal - to snap me out of my paralyzing state of depression. 

Note: I'm not saying to go and derail ALL of your routines. Often, routines help keep us in check - however, over the course of your day there are things that you could do *differently* that might be good for you. Trying something new is good for us all, and it allows us to experience new things and decide whether or not we like that new thing. 

6. Practice Daily Gratitude - what are three things you’re grateful for?

Nothing has been more effective for me than my daily practice of gratitude. What started as a ‘once a day gratitude challenge, turned into a life of gratitude practice. Finding things that you ARE grateful for, saying them out loud, and essentially believing - will, in turn, make you more grateful, and I believe will make you a happier person. 

Finding things to be grateful for, even in those dark days, allows you to find good - in the bad. It's not to say that what you’re feeling isn’t valid - all the crap is always valid to you, however, when mixed with a bit of positivity and gratitude, the crap can seem less heavy. 

There are always things to be grateful for. 

I suggest you try this: when you sit down for dinner before you take your first bite (whether alone, or with family) I want you to say I am grateful for ________, I am grateful for ______, and I am grateful for ________. Let everyone who is at the table with you have a go, and when you’ve all been grateful - start eating. The more and more and more you do this, the more and more you will find to be grateful for. If you’re anything like me, after a year or so of doing this EVERY day, you realize just how good things can be - even when some things feel quite awful. 

Practicing gratitude will not give you instant relief, however. This is something that works best over time. You need to train yourself to be grateful, and with time, I believe that you’ll start to see positivity in places maybe you were only able to see negativity before. Over time, your gratitude practice will open your heart, and I believe it’ll make a huge difference to your life.

In conclusion, I assure you that it's okay if you’re feeling crap, and it's okay if you’re not.

These are just six things that you can focus on if you are feeling down in the dumpster about something (it really could be anything). Maybe you can’t focus on all six things today, or maybe you can. Just know that wherever you're at in your journey right now, you are valid and whatever you decide to do, I am proud of you.

And lastly, again, because I can’t stress it enough - if you’re really struggling - I encourage you to seek professional help. Asking for help is single-handedly the best thing I've ever done and I feel stronger and more capable simply based on the fact that I acknowledged that I don't have to do it alone.

And lastly, again, because I can’t stress it enough - if you’re really struggling - I encourage you to seek professional help. Asking for help is single-handedly the best thing I've ever done and I feel stronger and more capable simply based on the fact that I acknowledged that I don't have to do it alone.

You do not have to do this alone. You are loved by many.

As always, if you like what you’ve read or you’re looking for more (I mean, who isn’t always looking for more of something great) then I highly suggest you join the FREE Dunnebells Facebook Group. This group is full of women around the world who are looking to up their game. If it’s time for you to surround yourself with women who’ve found themselves in a safe health and wellness environment, look no further. The BE THE FIRE FITNESS FAM is a private group for women just like you - women who are excited about themselves, women who want more out of life, and women who aren’t afraid to #keepitreal. Know someone else who could also benefit? Pass the message along. We can’t wait to meet you! CLICK NOW TO JOIN