Mentor & Mentorship - All things coaching

January, according to some, is a month that focuses on mentorship and all that relates to mentorship. We wrote in our Dunnebells Member Magazine that each month this year we are going to talk about a certain topic, and this month is mentorship #nationalmentoringmonth

Do you have a mentor?

Have you had a mentor?

Are you wanting a mentor?

Is there a sense of intimidation when it comes to the idea of having a mentor?

Not sure what a mentor really is?

Confused as to how to find a mentor?

If you answered yes to any of the above then guess what? You’re not alone.

Google (our trusty old Google) says:

A mentor is an experienced and trusted adviser.

Google also says:

A mentorship is a relationship between two people where the individual with more experience, knowledge, and connections is able to pass along what they have learned to a more junior individual within a certain field.

Again, Google tells me:

In order to find a mentor, follow these suggested steps:

1. Determine your personal goals

2. Identify your mentorship needs and personal preferences

3. Create a list of your current role models

4. Consider your personal network

5. Choose a potential mentor

6. Prepare your initial conversation

7. Schedule a meeting

8. Explain why you’re seeking mentorship.

Now, I know I’m not Google and that I, according to any of my qualifications, am not an expert in mentorship, but what I do know, and what you likely have heard too is it’s not what you know, but who you know. 

Who you know is more important than what you know. But, the part that I don’t believe anyone makes super clear, is that you have to do something about the who you know part.

Sure, there may be some sort of rubbing off that can happen when you surround yourself with the people that you *look up to* but the real magic, dare I say, is only going to happen if you do something about it. 

Shocking, really.

Absolutely shocking.

Steps 6, 7, and 8 are really important because you need to reach out to these potential mentors if you’re going to have any luck in learning the things that they know that you’re hoping to learn. 

Your mentor could be a friend, a colleague, someone in the class above you, someone in your family, a professional, or simply someone you found online that has what you’re looking for. 

In this day and age especially, it shouldn’t be hard to find what you’re looking for. People everywhere are excited to share what they know with people who are actually excited to learn. The great part about reaching out to these potential mentors is that even if that person, in particular, can’t help you or doesn’t have enough free space in their calendar to take on another client, they are likely to be able to recommend you to someone that they know and trust.

It’s not what you know, it's who you know.

And maybe, who you know isn’t the answer - but who they know. 

You know?

My wife, Lucy, who founded and owns Dunnebells, did not build a successful company because she's a genius. She has built a successful company as an LGBTQ woman because she did everything in her power to learn as much as she could about whatever she could - health, wellness, business, marketing, mentoring, finances, accounting, public speaking, social media and…the list goes on.

She used to network the sh*t out of herself and for the first few years of business, was never home before 8 pm. If she could get herself in front of someone, soaking up their knowledge, she would. If she could take a free course, she would. If she could sit in on a conversation that she thought might give her even one small token of advice, she showed up.

Lucy would make the list of mentors that she looked up to - even if they were not in her field (because, let's be real, in 2018 there weren’t a whole whack of online fitness trainers out there to surround herself with) and with that list, she then approached these individuals and offered to buy (because time and knowledge are not free and everyone knows that) them lunch in exchange for a few moments of their time. 

Often, people said no thank you and went on their merry little way.

Sometimes, people said sure thing and met up with this young entrepreneur trying to find her way.

A handful of those people were helpful.

A select few became vital parts of Lucy's growth.

And some were downright disrespectful. 

But, success isn’t linear. You have to fight for what you’re looking for and by enduring the different sides of successful people, Lucy came to find her people - her mentors.

It wasn’t a one-hit-wonder type scenario - there wasn’t one person on a list who she called and everything was easy from there. It was work, and she worked it.

Asking for help in areas that you want to grow in can be instrumental in your future. Whether it is professionally, personally, or financially - there is something to be said about asking for trusted advice from people who have already gone before you and are willing to share their successes and their failures.

This is not to say that the way Lucy did things is the only way, because it’s not.

I am very different to my wife and the idea of doing what she did somewhat exhausts me. I reckon, if I were to be looking for a mentor (which, come to think of it, isn’t a bad idea) I would go about it in a totally different way. I would be because it's the way my brain works, really invested in finding someone (probably online) that I feel I can trust and who also inspires me already in whatever they're good at. Then, I would somehow rack up the courage to speak to this person, via DM likely, and tell them everything I can possibly think of as to why I like them and value them and trust them - and then slide somewhere in there that I have no idea what I’m doing but that I’m looking for someone to mentor me and possibly be a sounding board for me and what I’m working on. I would then, because again - it's how my brain works, tell them how my brain works and what I would need as well as what I’d be willing to give.

No matter the outcome I would apologise for my direct approach to finding a mentor which is laced with fear and a lack of self-confidence. 

If they didn’t get scared by me already, and we choose to work together - YAY. If not, I would likely repeat after me…. change nothing and try again.

There's a reason and a season for everything. I am who I am and the way that I do things doesn’t make sense to a lot of people. 

All I am saying, and the point of exposing myself here, is that whoever you are and however you work - you too, can find a mentor.

There isn’t a one size fits all for this (or for anything really, let's be honest). What matters is that IF you’re looking for a mentor, you find one and approach them. Then, you find a few more and approach them too. Then, if you’re still able, find some more. 

You need to find one that works for you, not work with whichever one agrees to work with you. 

This is, your future, remember?

You have the power to do and be and become whatever you want. 

And with the help of someone, a friend or a mentor or a coach or a whatever - you too, can do the things you so wish. 

If you are hoping to get ahead but doing nothing about it, maybe take a step back and assess why? Once you know what's stopping you, you may be able to ask for help that will lead you to where you want to go.

Mentors are everywhere, and truth be told, a whole hell of a lot of them don’t even know they’re mentors. Regular people doing regular things superbly, willing to help other regular people find superbness.

People who are mentors who do not call themselves mentors may go by the terms adviser, coach, guide, instructor, teacher, trainer, tutor and counsellor.

Being that it’s January and I am in the midst of setting some intentions (ahem, goals without the stress of the word goals) I am actively considering finding a mentor in the field of finances. We are about to embark on a journey to start our family and on top of that we want to eventually buy a home by the beach and make sure that our life includes happiness, laughter, quality food, family time, and a whole lot of travel.

Do I know how to do that?

Sure don’t. 

I have an idea, but I can promise you that I don’t have the slightest clue where to start and how to make my money work in the best way possible for our future. So, I suggested to Lucy that we ask a professional and offer to pay them for their time.

Super fitting to today’s blog, I know - but it wasn’t intentional. 

This is why I think it's important to talk about it because maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that there's something you want or need as well, but you aren’t totally sure how to get it.

Intro - a mentor.

Good luck friends, I hope you have a great day.

Linkedin names these as the Top 10 Reasons You Need A Mentor:

1. They’ve been where you want to go

2. They give you unbiased feedback

3. They’ve likely acquired a network and connections already

4. They can introduce you to your next step (career path or opportunity)

5. They will help you stay in business longer (no quitting)

6. They accelerate your success

7. They push you to learn

8. They help you make the right choice

9. They’re a source of inspiration

10. They understand the struggle (they’re relatable)

And, as always, if you’re looking for a mentor in health and wellness (or let’s call it a coach) Dunnebells is currently taking clients for our 8-Week-Program. I say ours, but what I really mean, is Lucy’s. She’s an expert in her field and she’s got a fresh new energy about her this year. Dunnebells is rated 5 STARS on Google for a reason - they deliver lasting results to their clients.

Want to try the program for free? Our FREE 7-DAY TRIAL would be a great place for you to start.

Looking for a business mentor (we can call this a coach too) for your online business, or the business you hope to bring online? Dunnebells has that too. In the Business Mentorship Program offered at Dunnebells, everything Lucy has learned in the last seven years as she took her business from 0 figures to over 6 figures utilizing the web is available for you - plus you’re then inserted into the community and network that has been building for the last seven years. If you’re hoping to take your company to the next step, we’d love to hear from you.

Don’t know exactly what you want or what you need? Reach out anyways - sometimes all it takes is one really good conversation to get the ball rolling.