WHY WE HAVE SAID GOODBYE TO MORNING ROUTINES

Before things get heated, let's make a few things clear.

For us, morning routines are out - but if yours works for you, please don’t ditch it just because we’ve ditched ours. In writing from a place of opinion, it’s easy to get people sucked into thinking that we are saying it's our way or the highway, and that's simply not the case.

Over time, and over lots of experimenting, we’ve come to realize that having a structured morning routine just wasn’t benefiting us in the ways that we had initially hoped for. It’s not to say though that morning routines are terrible, horrible, no good, or even the cause of very bad days. 

For some, having a morning routine is the one thing that continues to work for them - and if that's you? Congrats! Please feel free to continue on your merry little way with your morning routine because if we know anything, it's that there is a lot of significance in having more and more of us having great days - no matter how on earth we all get there.

However, if you’ve tried the whole morning routine thing and just have yet to reap the benefits, maybe we can help.

Maybe we can’t - and that's okay too, but it’s in our nature to try.

If you Google creating and following a morning routine for better health, you’ll get this (and I know this to be true because instead of assuming what Google would tell me, I asked Google):

1. Set your alarm to work for you, not against you

2. Breathe in the new day

3. Drink water before coffee

4. Move your body in all directions

5. Make the time to exercise

6. Set your mind right

7. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

8. Make your bed

Now, I don’t think that Google is leading us off the deep end on this one. Each of those seven suggestions seems to carry its own validity in terms of being really great for you. Breathing is essential, water, before coffee is smart, moving your body, is beneficial for your mind and body, and gratitude really is a way of life that we believe makes all the difference. 

And, making your bed? Simply a no-brainer in our life. However, I’ve had this conversation with many of you and you stand tall with your decision to not make your bed, and I can’t argue with that - we are all different and if you want a messy bed, you go ahead.

The thing that we have trouble with in regards to this whole morning routine thing is that, possibly, it's too much.

Chances are that your mornings are already filled with a to-do list that's longer than you’d like. Adding on more things, regardless of how beneficial they could be, might not take the weight off, and might instead make things feel heavier.

Often with to-do lists as well, we tend to bite off more than we can chew. Sure, if your to-do list only has three things on it, you might get it all done and feel like you have a great start to your day. Likely, however, you’ve created a list that's a bit too long and unfortunately might be setting yourself up for something that's the opposite of success.

We, all thanks to my wife Lucy, have adopted this way of winning the morning.

What is winning the morning, you ask?

Simply, it's finding a way to win your morning, whatever winning looks like for you - in the morning (whatever morning looks like for you). For instance, my morning sometimes stretches until 11 am - and my goal is to win before 11:00 am so that my day feels positively impacted. Lucy, on the other hand, considers her morning to be sometime before 9:30 am and her idea of winning is drastically different than mine. For me, winning is a feeling - not necessarily a crossing-off of tasks on a list. If by 11:00 am I feel like I’ve fueled my body appropriately, gotten prepared for the day, mentally feel able to move through my day, and had a few laughs and a few slow calm moments of confidence, then I’ve won. For lucy, winning might be getting a few work tasks done before they pile up, getting dressed and ready to impress, completing some sort of movement, reading her book, and eating a delicious yummy breakfast.

Winning the morning is about making more time for the “do” and less time for the “don’t”.

What does that mean?

DO - Make it easy to win. Winning is personal, and you must decide what winning is. Is it small to-do list? Is it one thing you want to focus on? Is it a feeling? Take time and decide what it would be for you by asking yourself what's important. If by lunch you’re feeling defeated and unprepared for the rest of your day, maybe winning the morning is having dinner planned and sorted before you leave the house. If you’re getting into bed without having done your stretches or your workout, maybe winning for you is about moving your body for thirty minutes in the morning, regardless of what that movement is. Find out what winning is for you and then set yourself up for success with easy-to-achieve targets. You’ll find that winning actually feels great, regardless of what the win is - so if you set yourself up for success, you’re bound to reap the benefits.

DON’T - Feel like it has to be social media worthy. Real life isn’t social media. There is no need to try to impress anyone, but yourself. If winning is about having dinner sorted, it's totally okay if dinner is leftovers out of the freezer that is hard to identify. If winning is movement, you quite literally can do yoga in your oldest pair of panties while on the floor of your unfinished basement that your kids have destroyed with their clutter. Winning isn’t always pretty, okay?

DO - Start with some water, especially if you are a coffee drinker (kicks metabolism into gear, fights off dehydration early, protects the stomach lining, and protects teeth).

DON’T - Start your day with a scroll. It’s not often that we tend to say certain things are “bad” - but this one falls into the bad category. There are far better ways to start the day that will set you up for success than allowing what is on social media to be what first hits your brain. Give yourself about an hour, and then go for it! If you have troubles with this, maybe ask yourself why - and come up with a plan to make that not the case. 

DO - Switch your brain on - do something that you enjoy that makes you think - research shows the benefits of this long-term on your brain. Read, write, do a crossword or listen to a podcast. The combo of doing something you enjoy and being mentally stimulated at the same time will help you to feel better, and that is a win! When your brain is winning, you are winning. 

DON’T - Worry about your first meal - keep it simple and make it easy and macro-friendly if possible, but no more egg whites and leaving the house hungry. The best thing you can do for yourself is to eat something, but don’t spend too much time worrying about what the food is. Sit down to eat. Breathe in between bites. Be grateful for the food you have and the time you have to enjoy it. If your morning is so hectic that you’re thinking to yourself that you don’t have the time to sit and mindfully eat - then possibly look at timing your mornings differently so that you can prioritize yourself and your well-being.

DO - Get used to changing what winning looks like. For us, before we had a dog, winning the morning looked completely different from how it looks now. Winning now is finding a way to engage with our dog that doesn’t take away from the enjoyment we both get from slowly drinking our coffees. Winning looks like getting out of the house to take her for a walk, giving us time to listen to a podcast and breathe in the fresh air. I presume as soon as we have kids it’ll likely change again - embrace the change! Don’t be afraid to be flexible - life is not black and white. What winning for you is this week does not have to be what winning looks like in a month. 

DON’T - Don’t do what someone told you to do, do what actually feels good and that you can turn into a habit. The goal is a habit - and the habit is winning. The habit doesn’t have to be the action, because like we’ve just said, life changes. As long as you are committed to winning the morning, you’ll start to build habits and it’ll be interesting to see what you accomplish and learn about yourself.

DO - Go slow. I don’t know if you know this but winning doesn’t always mean you’ve come first.

DON’T - Expect anyone else to join you, or do it for you. If your spouse looks at you like you’re losing it and doesn’t want to win their own morning, you can still commit to winning yours. They can’t help you and they don’t have to do things that you want them to do. If doing things alongside someone and having an accountability partner is important to you, seek it in other areas of your life if you can’t find it at home - just don’t make anyone feel bad about not wanting to if they simply aren’t interested.

Most importantly, I’ll say it again, you have to decide what winning is for you - and that sometimes is the hardest part. You can’t just wake up one day and be good at this, it's going to take some experimenting, and some deep diving into what actually matters to you.

What’s the point of having a mile-long to-do list if accomplishing it doesn’t actually bring you peace and fulfillment? I'd rather do one or two things that really make me feel great than a bunch of things that feel okay-ish.

And, there's plenty of time for your to-do list, don’t you worry. Winning the morning is simply about setting you up so that you can have a great day. Winning the morning isn’t the end goal, it's the start to something great - and it doesn’t have to be big to make a big difference.

We’re always open to having conversations about this in our FREE Facebook group - because through experience I know that its sometimes good to bounce ideas off each other and hear what works for others in order to dig deep enough to find what may work for us. Head to our group and be part of the conversation HERE, and let us know if you have any questions!!!!


HAVE A HAPPY TUESDAY.

Good luck winning tomorrow morning!